Karma
Wednesday, August 29
Finally, after weeks of barely catching my deadlines,I vowed to myself that this week will be different, that I would no longer be a slave to the monotony of Dawn of War and Tiberium Wars. I held up pretty good for the first few days, but then you just can't shrug peer pressure, and today, I finally got coaxed by my roommates to assume my "battle station" once more.
All it took was a split second, there I was, playing my ass off when not-so-surprisingly
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I shift the foldable table to make way for my passing roomie when suddenly the table folds up and down goes my laptop.
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And dammit, it's not just some surface scratch, it scraped deeply into my lcd cover, past the imprint finish and through the top layer of the tough plastic. Damn.
Months and months of pruning, cleaning, and polishing has just been recklessly laid to waste in a split second. Now, it's just like an immaculately white paper with a dot in the center. No matter how much I clean, polish, or cry over it. Yes, it's a goddamn shibboleth but I simply can't find the right words to say, the anger simply burns me up.
But what really pisses me off is the fact that it's all my fault, that I can't shove the blame on someone else, and I can't kick anyone's nut, just my own balls. I knew that I never should've broken my stupid vow, and now I'm stuck here weeping at my loss.
But then, looking on the bright side, at least if i get in some sticky situation, like say, some bastard tries to take my laptop for his own, I'll have that painful scar as a distinct name label.
Labels: rands
thrown by A.Paul @ 20:36,
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Brainfarts
Sunday, August 19
I know, I haven’t posted anything more than your average crap for more than two months now, and this isn’t any better. In fact I think this one would stink more than all the garbage I’ve ever thrown in here, but that’s the whole point of creating this “blog” in the first place isn’t it? Right? Or is it?
It’s been over a year since I started this dump, and I’ve been wondering why exactly I started this dump, or to be more precise, why I pushed through stinking up this place with all sorts of sh*t, and why I should continue doing so for another 365.5 days.
This is the primary reason why I’ve been so silent these past few weeks. In the middle of typing and deleting what I typed, trying futilely to overcome the first few sentences of writer’s block. Staring at that damned blinking cursor, it was as if the cursor was mocking me, laughing maniacally every time I hit backspace to land back to square one. In the midst of all this mental turmoil, I begin to ask myself what exactly is the point of writing all my gibberish? And when I’ve finally convinced myself somehow that I should carry on, I’ve already forgotten what I was writing about. That’s what has been happening for the last 6 months. An idea starts to burn in my head, but then the blank paper wins over my pen, and the idea ends up as brainfart, stinking up my mind for a few measly seconds until a breeze comes along and wipes out that stench.
It’s the worst feeling a writer, or any person for that matter, could possibly experience, getting a glimpse of something which you can never have. A moment of being temporarily uplifted by something or someone only to find out that it was just to elevate you just enough to bring you down.
Labels: doldrums
thrown by A.Paul @ 12:34,
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Pardon the crappiness....
Wednesday, August 8
64%
Hell week's coming up (though it has been delayed by the severe weather, and there's very little time to spare for the past few weeks. Nuff said.
Labels: crap
thrown by A.Paul @ 22:03,
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