All I want for Christmas....
Friday, December 7
At last, after 3 days of hard work, my laptop is back in tiptop shape, defenses are up and about, critical documents have been recovered from Mozy, plus the music library has been reanimated and has even expanded. Thankfully, the service center made up for their screw-ups this past few weeks by managing to get hold of a new motherboard before their scheduled shutdown for the yuletide season. I've forgiven all the mishaps they've given me, but i do hope that would be my last visit to the service center. So, after a year of procrastination, two system crashes, and the occasional hangover, what have I really learned this year? Absolutely nothing, nothing but pure gibberish, and I'm still as clueless regarding my future as I have been 1 year ago. I thought I was already past these crossroads yet here I am gazing upon that forked path again, as unsure and clueless as I had been when I first got there, and still none the wiser.
Santa, if you're reading this, please, all I want for Christmas is conviction (and an ipod touch, a Macbook Pro, and a MozyPro license, haha), the determination that would drive me to push through my studies and afterwards proceed to Med school afterwards. I'd really like to have that feeling of enjoying what I do, instead of just going through the motions just because. There are times when I still feel pissed at how I let my mother talk me into pursuing Medicine, but thinking about it, I really didin't have any alternative. I could have:
a.) listened to my father and taken up anything with Engineering in it, and live my life as he sees fit, treating me as his second chance in life.
b.) or I could have just gone with my gut and taken up Computer Science, and just welcome the grim future that I may have just as well sentenced myself to become a call center agent. (No offense meant to CompSci Majors, just remembered what one of my Aunts told me)
c.) or I could have just taken Psychology. That way, I'd still be enroute to Med school, but at least I won't have to bleed through every pore in my body just to pass a damn subject.
But then, if I was given a chance to go back, I doubt that I would do things differently, I would have still taken up Biology, and would still rant occasionally on my supposed lack of choices. I don't think the choices really matter, it's the conviction of the one who's about to choose, as it goes by the saying: "If you don't decide for yourself, other people will make that decision for you.
Well, I don't think I have a choice anymore. I once planned to shift to another course, but decided the whole process would be too much work. Add to that the fact that my mom would, upon mentioning any of my plans to shift, do one of two things:
1. Sigh and then say: "Akala ko pa naman may mag-aalaga na sa akin pagtanda ko."
2. Or mention her body aches during dinner:
Ma: May mali na ata talaga sa katawan ko, minsan inaatake ako ng vertigo.
Me: Nagpatingin ka na ba sa ENT?
Ma: Hindi pa e, hihintay na lang kita anak.
Adding to the trap I'm now in is the fact that if I do opt out of Medicine and still pursue Bio, where would I end up? After all, there doesn't seem to be any practical alternative to Med after graduation, as shown by my experiences:
a.) Once someone finds out I'm enrolled in Bio, the follow-up question is always: "Magme-Med ka?"
b.) One of my lab instructors, during a sermon, spurts out: "Training lang yan. Alam ko naman na yung iba sa inyo after graduation magme-Med after, yung iba magtatrabaho sa uhm... Anyway next week..."
Anyway, I shouldn't be troubling myself too much, after all, I've still got tons of work to do, a dozen chapters and hundreds of pages to review, and some handouts to fill up. That said, Merry Christmas everyone!
thrown by A.Paul @ 22:51,
