Ennui
Monday, April 24

Why are parents so stubborn? Why can't they see that I am no longer the mindless drone they want me to be? Why do they keep pushing themselves into my life when it is clearly unfit for them to do so. Yes, they may be more experienced but apparently, that doesn't make them any wiser. They may have experienced things I can only dream about but they clearly lack the capability to pick up lessons from these experiences (at least from my point of view).Can't they at least give me the liberty of deciding whether or not I want to go with them on a trip?

Today was a complete nightmare, I'm still quite surprised as to how I managed to survive a feat that I will be talking about a little later. I have already told my mother the night before that I would prefer more to stay at home than join them on their trip, but knowing my parents, I knew this was a futile attempt. And so, against my will, I was rackled at 3am by the wake-up calls of my father. I got fixed up hesitantly, and I was already feeling that it was gonna be a real bad ass day.

I might as well give you a better understanding of the situation so that you may be able to relate with my feelings strongly. A bunch of my cousins are taking a week's vacation in our house and my parents decided to show them around Tagaytay and have a picnic. Now, I've been to Tagaytay on numerous occasions and I was quite tired of the place already and I tried to tell my parents, but as I've mentioned earlier, the pleas were all in vain.

And so, there I was, grumpily sitting at the back of the car, desperately trying to catch some Zs to make up for my disturbed sleep in the very early morning. An hour later, I found myself hiking towards the top of a park in the sky (People's Park in the Sky), and 2 hours later, I end up sitting in a bench in a picnic grove.

I thought it will only be a short stay, so I said, "Ok, I'll just sit here and wait till it's time to go home". I decided to leave the sight-seeing to my cousins since I've been there quite a few times already and there's nothing new on the scene. So at first, I enjoyed just sitting there doing nothing but after an hour I got bored and asked my parents when will we go home. They said after lunch, around 1pm, and so I decided I could still endure 2 more hours of painstaking boredom.

After 2 hours, my father was dozing off at the mat, and there still were no signs that we were leaving the damn place. The lack of sleep, the sweltering summer heat, and brutal boredom all combined to become a catalyst to revive the repressed feelings inside of me. Soon enough, my eyebrows were already joined, tip to tip, and I'm pretty sure I had the facial expression of a mad psychotic serial killer onto the scent of fresh blood.

This hell was all due to my father, caused by this bloated egomaniac eager to have everything in his control. He often told me that I was always trying to have my own way, and all those times I wanted to tell him to f*ck off and go look at a mirror and see his rotten visage of hypocrisy.

My father is a perfect example of a megalomaniac. He always gets his way, no matter how trivial the situation is, i.e., the color of the shirt we are to wear. His words are like imperial decrees, absolute laws we have to follow even though how ridiculous or insipid it may seem, because once he's made up his mind, you have to follow whatever intrepid order he may give you. I saw this not as a superiority complex, but as an inferiority complex. An elaborate mask to hide his desperation, to run away from the truth that he is after all, only human, and therefore prone to failure and blunder. Instead, he thinks himself a god, supreme and omniscient, infallible and incapable of committing mistakes.

But after a while, I began to feel calmer, a result of the paracetamol I drugged myself with as a proxy for anti-psychotic. My head began to clear, and I began to wait in boredom once more.

Man, was I glad to finally leave that bench 7 hours later....

thrown by A.Paul @ 00:05,